Thursday, November 1, 2012

Obviously I went to the wrong university!

Beautiful Disaster (by Jamie McGuire )
Genre: romantic fiction

WTF: 8/10      Talk about: 10/10       Book Smarts: 6/10       LOL: 3/10       Thumbs up: YES!

I don't mind admitting I've been addicted to this novel for the past 24 hours! So much so, that I almost put my back out contorting to read it over my baby's suckling head!

And I can't, for the life of me, say why it's so addictive. It just is.

It's not a great plot, it's not hilarious, or suspenseful, or sad - and the writing is more juvenile than both The Hunger Games and Fifty Shades!

Even the sex is rare and mediocre. Although after reading the Fifty Shades trilogy I've got to say I'm spent (for a while) - at least on literary sex. I didn't even make it through the third book!

So what's so captivating about it?!  

Well, there's romance, and fighting, and break-ups, and frat parties, and Vegas! What more can we ask for? (Probably A LOT).

Oh, and there's a BEAUTIFUL disaster. (I hope I haven't given anything away.)

I pictured Jamie McGuire (our authoress) to be a 16 year old school girl dreaming about what she hoped happened at Uni - it turns out she's married with kids (I mean, seriously?)

Maybe she never went to college... or maybe she just wishes that's what it had been like....

I'm with her! Didn't we all want our own hardass bad boy to tame?

I honestly think Jamie had no idea where she was going with the story until she'd finished writing it. It wouldn't have surprised (or disappointed) me if the ending had been;

......and they all died. The End. 

It's like Fight Club, Grease 2 and Maverick (all my favourite movies) mixed up into 416 pages!

Her characters are unreal (I mean really unreal).

Of course he's a slut - a big motorcycle wielding, fighting machine man slut - and she's a cardigan wearing goody-two shoes (you've guessed it) virgin. (Those virgins have ALL the fun!)

The tension is all a big fuss about nothing, and the drama is too melodramatic. It's corny and so cliche.

I. Still. LOVED. It.

I don't mean to bash Jamie - or her beautiful disaster of a novel - too much. That would be a little hypocritical seeing as though I've snubbed my toddlers nearly all morning so that I could hang out with Mad Dog Maddox and his Pigeon....

No - it's not about pigeons. Or mad dogs.

What more can I say, other than; Thank God I've finished it! It's been a while since a book has captivated me to this extent. My totally real 'grown-up' life can now resume!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

a kids' book about kids killing kids......... WTF?

I'm surely a little late in the 'game' with this particular review - I doubt there's a single reader out there who isn't fondly familiar with Katniss and her kick ass contenders in the arena!

It's not a new concept, in fact the idea of fighting to the death before an avid audience is as ancient as the Romans and their Gladiators.

Many many centuries later, sometime in the 80's, Arnie (my favorite action hero of the time - after good old Sly of course) was picked to play a pumped up 'modern' on screen version of a gladiator in the movie adaptation of Stephen King's (or should I say Richard Bachman's) book The Running Man, where convicts were forced to fight it out to the death in a staged TV show.

Even more recently Gamer (2009) hit the screens - a contemporary spin on The Running Man, where internet gamers can actually take control of real human beings - starring the yummy Gerard Butler.

But, no author (or screen writer) has ever had the chilling audacity (or balls) to put children in the ring...... until now!

The Hunger Games (by Suzanne Collins)
Genre: dystopian/science fiction

WTF: 10/10      Talk about: 10/10       Book Smarts: 8/10       LOL: 2/10       Thumbs up: YES!

Arguably the best book our club has read to date - it was an all resounding unanimous big up for Suzanne Collins! She definitely 'rocked the Casbah' with this almighty HIT! Most of the ladies in our group went straight on to read part 2 and 3 of the trilogy, without coming up for air. Shame on this Momma for not having found the time yet, however, it’s definitely on my to-do list!

I'm proud to say that I was the one who recommended this brutal and bold bestseller to our book club, after picking up on its soaring popularity through my Facebook buddies. Since then The Hunger Games has rocketed off the charts, first with book sales and now with the Blockbuster movie screenings selling out all over the US!

The story is set in a futuristic country where former hostilities and revolutions have orchestrated the leaders to create a chilling annual celebration known to all as the Hunger Games. Every year all the kids in each of the opposing districts are put into a raffle - it's a tombola (or a lottery) with the biggest booby prize imaginable! The games are a punishment to all the different districts, to maintain animosity, and instill fear and hatred, reminding all of their former crimes and the ruthlessness of their leaders......

The idea reminds me of the draft - and the ruthless recruitment of young boys (not near ripe for the picking) to war in some countries (heartrendingly still happening today). The Hunger Games, however, are open for girls and boys alike, ranging from 12 to 18, there is no age or gender discrimination, incongruously giving our young feminine readers a bit of a self-empowerment boost - thanks to our ahead-of-the-times author.

And after meeting our strong female heroine, Katniss (finally a more subtle version of Lara Croft) no one can help but fall for her quiet strength and prowess with a bow and arrow - If we hadn't already tagged our baby bump after two of Momma's top female literary heroines, 'Katniss' might have been a tough contender on our baby name list as well as within The Hunger Games!

She has a ruthless survival streak off-set by a lovable girl-next-door nature, successfully capturing the reader's heart and support from the get-go. The desire to see her win this appalling tournament evokes a strange and shameful guilt. How do you root for a winner when the only way she can possibly win is if other children die!

The bloody battle is aired live throughout the districts - like our modern reality phenomenon, Big Brother, and much like the addictive show, the entire population is glued to watching- in spite of the public's outward distaste. It's a horrible and horrific idea, which has the reader appallingly transfixed from cover to cover!

In spite of it being classified as a Young Adult book (rated PG13 on the big screen) the gruesome and grizzly undertones might have some of you Mommas out there shying away from letting your kids have a scoop (although unfathomably it's probably harder for us Mommas to stomach than an ingenuous child). It is too easy to read, yet sometimes impossible to absorb, containing dark passages with warped and twisted ideas that had me - a once upon a time a casual reader of Layman, Koontz and King - shaken to the core......

No doubt your fella will love this one as much as we girlies did! In spite of a luscious love triangle, this sci fi-thriller is no sappy romance! It’s a story like no other, with as shocking and terrifying a concept as I've ever come across, packing one helluva punch!

I give it a 10/10 on the WTF. 10/10 on the talk about ratings, and a mightily impressive 8/10 on the book smarts rating! LOL gets a lowly 2/10 - but seriously, it's not really a laughing matter! This is most definitely a MUST read, and I give it 100% Thumbs up!  

The movie blockbuster burst out on the big screen in March this year, and it’s still playing in some theaters across the USA, so if I haven't convinced you to 'click' at least go and see the flick!

Suspenseful and masterful - it's a trilogy not to be forsaken!!

Let the Games Begin!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

a dirty kick-off!

These days, the biggest hoorah this Momma can look forward to is hooking up with a sassy set of  sheilas, once a month, in order to discuss our fantastical adventures between the sheets! OK, so I don’t mean the kind of sheets you’re thinking of! Although, the odd kiss and tell story may come up from time to time – a group of women drinking wine and eating niblets  – what else do you expect?

Being a diverse and dynamic group of divas, our book picks are very different, ranging from frivolous fluff to classic literature – but really, any book is fair game! Admittedly the heavier prose has been kyboshed recently - I guess so that those of us with permanent baby-brain can still keep up! 

My first review is a great example of one of our fluffier book picks - and a whole lot more than any of us (even our erotica connoisseur - yes, we do have one) bargained for........


Forbidden Pleasure (by Lora Leigh) 
Genre: romance-erotica

WTF: 10/10       Talk about: 10/10       Book Smarts: 3/10       LOL: 7/10       Thumbs up: YES!

This book is by far the most shockingly memorable one I've read since joining my book-club (perhaps ever?) – not surprisingly due to its explicit sexual content!!!

Although not rating super high for its literary value, and containing a shameful number of typos, spelling and grammatical boo-boos to boot (the editor was probably way too distracted), it does contain a prolific amount of pornographic (and eye-popping) prose, and this sizzling best-seller is bound to get your motor racing!

Definitely one for the ladies - although I couldn't resist reading a few perverse passages out loud to my hubbie, stirring up some interesting and welcome sex-capades - our lucky leading lady gets to live out every naughty girl’s most erotic fantasy..... two men... together! And I’m not talking about just having spit-roast for dinner – this one certainly goes the whole hog! I have to admit it's way too much sausage in one sitting for this meat-lover mother!

I gave it a whopping 10/10 on the WTF ratings, and a titillating 10/10 on the talk about ratings. I just couldn't quit yakking on about this juicy page turner to any and every women that was willing to listen! It became a hot –and atrociously inappropriate - topic at library Toddler Time even managing to seduce some 'well up for it' Mommas into joining our brazen bunch of booky broads! It's no comedy - but the shamefully embarrassing tandem action had us worldly and well-read women all giggling like school girls - for that it earns a healthy 7/10 for the LOL ratings.

To give Lora Leigh fair credit, there is a bit of a plot, and a bit of suspense – but really it's just a LOT of shagging – and unfortunately only gets a flaccid 3/10 on the book smarts ratings – but who really gives a f**k?! It's a MUST read for me and I give it an overall 100% Thumbs up! Trust me - you'll never again get this much bang for your buck!!

For this one, I don't recommend purchasing a second pawed copy – if you get my drift.......